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Mar 20, 2013

Trains, Books and Reasons

There are a lot of stories about rape culture, female safety and so forth going around at the moment. It's a major issue affecting us all right now. And between the Steubenville case, Unwinona's blog and some conversations (online and off) with some female friends, the idea of train safety and the issues of public transport have been heavily on my mind.

Part of this is because I worry for the safety of my friends and partly because I am one of the fortunate females who hasn't had to deal with some of the kinds of issues others have. I find myself wondering why.

My first thought is kind of negative and self destructive but I have it anyway....maybe I'm just not attractive enough for the guys to bother with. The thought doesn't really affect me much, I'm capable of owning up to its silliness and inconsequential nature, shrug and move on. Whatever. From there I have to look at true facts and subjective issues.

I'm tall, but not overly. I'm average weight, Caucasian and have long blonde hair. I'm generally a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl but dress up on occasion and even DRESS-UP on the trains too. I don't go out of my way to worry about attracting attention, that's for sure.

One reoccurring theme that I've noticed come up is one thing I don't do; I don't read on trains. I'm an avid reader and adore books but I don't bother reading on trains. I have in headphones almost all the time, 7 out of 10 trips I have to stand or deliberately chose to stand and part of why I don't read is a lifetime habitual preference to be aware of my surroundings. I like to people watch, plus I was heavily bullied as a teen so I like to have an awareness of the people (men, women and kids) around me, something I don't have when I get lost in a book. I'm also paranoid about missing my stop and impatient to be one of the first out of the carriage because I hate being stuck in the cattle crush. I'm a very friendly, open person but I'm told I have a distinct 'back off' vibe at times, though I can't tell you when or how.

In there, somewhere, is the reason or reasons I've been so fortunate to have as little trouble on trains as I have. (Which I hope continues after this!) I'm tempted to run tests and add or subtract the variables until I figure out what it is but that would be almost impossible to do properly and probably not overly safe. Is it the book thing? It's the only reoccurring thing I've been able to pin point in the tales of friends and strangers. Which is ridiculous because why shouldn't a girl be able to read on a long train ride if she wants to, without attracting unwanted attention? Is there something about the nature of the action that causes curiosity or gives off an easy target vibe? The lack of awareness maybe? Or is it something infinitely more subjective and/or more personal about each individual involved?

It's something I would like to figure out or have SOMEONE figure out, in order to help ensure the safety of women everywhere. Of course, we shouldn't have to constantly worry about being safe, protecting ourselves and avoiding adverse situations but until the whole world changes, we have to live in it and deal with the current society issues. Ignoring them to make a point obviously isn't safe for anyone.

I hope that maybe something I've said about my personal scenario above may help someone, even just one person, or may strike a chord somewhere in how to fix things in general to make them safer.

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